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By Dawn Januszkewicz
John Tucker, played by Jesse Metcalfe, is the super jock, dreamy, sexy and romantic, and otherwise known as a vain, skilled liar. All the women love him, but seem unaware of his deceitful nature until they become its victims. John Tucker is a cocky and impulsive 18-year-old, but he is as experienced as Don Juan. He's as unreal as our modern day Snow White.
Tucker's former harem of jealous, swarming beauties - the head cheerleader played by Ashanti, academic overachiever played by Arielle Kebbel, and the "experienced," vegan activist played by Sophia Bush - seek out an impressionable bombshell (Kate) to execute the perfect revenge: to break the heart of a heart breaker. Just like Charlie's Angels, the cute one, smart one and the, well, the slut. It's profound!
Several attempts to disgrace Tucker are made prior to the master plot. The most entertaining is when the girls add estrogen to the bulk-up powder Tucker takes twice a day. Of course, it works instantly, giving Tucker a worst-case scenario of PMS; sore nipples, cramps and embarrassing emotional moments. Watching him overcome this outburst was just exhausting; this scene is a focal point of unrealistic moments.
Our Don Juan cannot be defeated as he proves his sleek skills as a smooth operator in the end. He falls for their ploy for only a second and our Snow White finds her long-awaited popularity, convinces her mother Lori, played ironically by Jenny McCarthy, to stop dating "John Tuckers" and spend time with her daughter. The role reversal between Snow and McCarthy is a typical twist to transcend the frivolity of the movie. The role reversal was also unrealistic and out of character for Lori.
There are some funny moments, but they are brief and fleeting. This movie illustrates the teen movie formula so closely that it should double as a suicide note if it took the writers even two evenings to write the script. The ending was absurd - a completely happy ending, everyone gets exactly what they want. So happy you could just choke.
John Tucker Must Die satirizes itself, posing as a teen movie, yet actually mocking them with its ridiculous stereotypes, predictable twists and turns. Unfortunately, it was too boring to be a satire and much to unrealistic and typical to be an entertaining movie.
0 8 . 1 7 . 0 6
Perpetual Toxins © 2006-2007 - All Rights Reserved |
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aze into those beautiful rich pools of blue and what do you see? An innocent girl of good repute desperately urging to break free from her shell or the vicious vamp eager to destroy John Tucker? The answer is neither; this dreamy-eyed bombshell named Kate, who is played by Brittany Snow, is a Fig Newton of your imagination and the only people that could relate to her are living in a deep teenage coma of denial. Most people cannot relate to or even enjoy Betty Thomas' thin daydream of teenage dating.
