i n t e r v i e w s
  r e v i e w s
  c r e a t i v e
  v a r i o u s
  e v e n t s
  d i r e c t o r y
  n e w s   b r i e f s
  s e a r c h
  s u b s c r i b e
  d i s t r i b u t i o n
  c o n t a c t s / c r e d i t s
  c o n t r i b u t e
  a d v e r t i s e



 

By Mrs. Chuck Torso

'm writing to you from the road, on the lost highway. Wolf is driving the campervan. He's been silent for days now. Brass knuckles to the back of his head wouldn't bring out a peep. He and his dad were so close. Wolf's boyfriend, Gunner, is chopping up coke with my daughter, Cindy. They're hoping a night of ripping on powder will bring Wolf out of his shell.

It's pretty somber in here and I don't know if drugs are gonna cheer us up, but I don't want to disappoint the kids, so I'm keeping my mouth shut. I keep looking at the box of what's left of my husband Chuck that the police sent me. They could've easily have caught the rest of us, but didn't for some reason. Maybe they're toying with us. I doubt my husband's alive, but I know for certain that these cops won't be satisfied until they're cutting off our tattoos and ripping out our gold teeth.

We've been too sad to get back into our routine of mayhem and murder. Cindy's been ignoring her stripping duties to the truckers of America, and has actually been sitting around in sweatpants and scrunchies. It's disheartening to watch such a limber and frisky girl fall apart because the pigs killed her daddy. Wolf and Gunner have been messes too. They've taken care of driving and repairing the camper van, but when they're not doing that they're lying on a back bunk, Gunner's tattooed chest muffling Wolf's sobs. I've been drinking Robitussin like there's no tomorrow, and who knows, maybe there isn't. Since Chuck was caught by the cops it's felt like one long hideous day. Even my DVDs and drugs and peach margaritas can't console my broken heart or heal my sickened stomach.

I knew things were really wrong when I actually purchased a DVD like a normal person. I love my Desperate Housewives gals, and when I saw that the second season collection was released, I numbly removed cash from my purse and paid for the item. I know the clerk thought nothing of this shocking act, but she also didn't know that I once killed a man for Bubbalicious gum. The Desperate Housewives DVDs have been wonderful, blissfully distracting me from the endless and ugly highway scenery and the knowing in my soul. The housewives' problems took the place of my own for a while, but when Bree Van de Kamp (Marcia Cross) was dealing with a dead husband, a gay son and a slutty daughter, I cried big salty tears into my Cheetos. All DVDs return to the main menu, and all of a woman's problems return to her heart and mind.

The kids and I don't even have a plan for what to do. We can live for at least a year without robbing anyone else, but who are we without our work? It's a collective crisis, I tell ya. We want to burn down each town, but none of us cares enough to slosh around the gasoline. I always knew I was the glue that held this family together, but I never realized that my missing husband Chuck was its soul. He introduced me and the kids to crime and the gypsy life, to literature, to drugs, to the intoxicating beauty of lawlessness. That man even helped me during Cindy's birth at a stand-off with the police at an OTB parlor. The press and the police think we're monsters, but Chuck Torso helped make my exciting life what it is. How can I move on?

As I close this little entry for Perpetual Toxins, I realize I can't even tell ya'll where we are. Not because of the nature of our nomadic lifestyle, but because I haven't been paying attention to Wolf's driving at all. I don't know what state we're in or even what time of night it is. Not knowing the full truth about Chuck has kept us all stuck in neutral.

Maybe a massive crime wave would help get us out of this funk. Maybe something near Six Flags Great Adventure? This family needs to laugh and smile again. Besides, don't little kids sometimes fall off roller coasters and die horribly? There's got to be something for us to look forward to. If Chuck's somehow alive, I hope he's able to think positively too.

Oh, the kids have really gotten into the coke. I better drive the campervan for the next few hours. Take care of yourselves and your loved ones, whether they're criminals or not. A broken heart can happen to anybody.

0 9 . 0 4 . 0 6

Perpetual Toxins © 2006-2007 - All Rights Reserved