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KellyShoes By Jeremy Grand Stupid boy, Kelly loves shoes. She also has big feet, overbearing parents, boys who only want her for her body and is surrounded by betches and decks. And for that, she is one fabulous chick. Shoes is a spin-off from the absolutely hilarious viral video of the same title that started a wave of playful name calling ("Betch! Deck! What the hell? I'm gonna betch-slap you shetbag!") by California actor/comedian Liam Sullivan. The album, available on Sullivan's website (www.liamshow.com), as well as on iTunes, has expanded the ridiculousness of the original video with an unexpectedly good set of techno-bea-laden, comedic ear candy. Kelly has turned into one of the most quotable people of the year after the "Shoes" video ("Shoes, shoes, shoes, ohmygod! Shoes." "These shoes rule, these shoes suck!" "Oh, by the way betch ... Fuck you!"), and she has added more and more and even more quotes to add to everyone's playful dictionary. There's "Let Me Borrow That Top" ("You're a fat fucking betch cuz you won't let me borrow that fucking top!" "Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery!" "I've already been to heaven and after five minutes I was like, 'let's go.'") and "No Booty Calls" ("No booty calls, deck!" "Baby you're like cheddar ... cheeeesy!"). Then there's the second single, "Txt Msg Brkup," that spawned another Kelly video (with a cameo from Margaret Cho), which definitely couldn't top the Shoes video, but was still funny nonetheless, worth seeing for the family dinner table scene at the beginning. Kelly's Christian conservative mom is featured in "Where Do You Think You're Going In That?," which is a rant, rave and lecture to Kelly set to a bad-ass grind ("Tattoos are from the Dev-il. You don't even know Chinese!" "Boys just wanna get in your tutu!" "We're gonna be on Montel Williams for cry-aye!") Kelly has too many shoes but is still fucking rad, and we really need to see more Kelly soon, otherwise we'll just have to wish to run into her at the gala-la-la-la-la-leria. |
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