| F E A T U R E S T H O U G H T S R E V I E W S N E W S e v e n t s d i r e c t o r y |
Solo? Oh No...
By Jeremy Grand To the left, to the left, every solo album in a box to the left. Beyoncé, Gwen, Fergie, just to name a few, all major players in major musical groups that have added to the horrible recent epidemic of obnoxious self indulgence. Let's start with Stacy Ferguson, a.k.a. Fergie, the female accompaniment that brought the Black Eyed Peas to pop star status, who one day decides to utilize this newfound fame to her advantage. The result is the mindless fluff The Dutchess, which has already spawned three singles, all worthy of the consistently awful top ten lists. Sure, "London Bridge" is catchy, but does it have staying power? The definite answer is no. Well, you might say, what about "Fergilicious?" Oh, you mean that utter rip-off of "Supersonic" by J.J. Fad, with only the words (slightly) changed to tell the world how trashy one could be after millions of dollars are thrown in their direction. Yeah, that has real staying power. She is the epitome of the word "glamorous," wetting her pants during a show, which brought about worldwide attention. Can't get enough of that spotlight, eh Ferg? 
And the P.E.T.A. award goes to ... Beyoncé! The woman whose superego got the best of her during the run of the talented Destiny's Child. She didn't give them enough credit, always stealing the spotlight of a group she obviously can't do without. Sure she sells records up her chinchilla-fur laden behind, but does that make her songs any good? Nah. She's even too good to perform for herself. There was one awards show where she looked like a slutty, poofy, gold-leafed lunatic making love to the camera at every moment while (really poorly) lip-synching the words to her current single. Now that's talent.
Then there's Gwen Stefani, who shaped No Doubt to super success and boosted the popularity of a waning ska-pop genre in the midst of the grunge movement during the '90s. The band seemed to always grow, form and advance with the times until ... a greatest hits album tossed into the mix of hundreds of best of albums (including the pointless Britney Spears' greatest hits, but that's another story), a so-so single cover of a crappy '80s new wave song, then nothing. Then all of a sudden Gwen decides to go solo. Love. Angel. Music. Baby. spawned a couple of typically catchy singles which were played over and over and over again and jammed down our throats before we wondered why she left No Doubt in the first place. The album started a wave of Google searches on the word Harajuku, spawned a clothing line called L.A.M.B. (Love. Angel. Music. Baby., get it?), and yet another superego. Then we realized that the old band needed to get back together (and as rumors have it, they are working on a new album), just so we don't have to hear that "Lonely Goatherd" from The Sound of Music remixed with that awful song "Wind It Up," which for sure was only a single, not because it was good, but because she paid for it to be one based on the fact that one of the lines is "they like the way that L.A.M.B. is going 'cross my shirt." Here's the poor, unfortunate point. So many bands come and go, and so often things happen that cause a breakup, which is understandable; not every good thing can last forever. But to abandon during a high streak and leave your fellow performers out to dry? That's just being a diva. Then again, not always. There's Jenny Lewis, for example, the main songbird lead of Rilo Kiley, who last year put out her own little side project, maybe for the same self-gratifying reasons as those other pop divas, but in this case it was probably considered more of a collaborative effort than anything. Such as the case goes for Benjamin Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie, who seems to have his musical fingers here and there and everywhere (also not forgetting that he and Lewis were together with the Postal Service), but there seems to be no sign of abandonment on their end. Then we could mention John Nolan and Shaun Cooper leaving Taking Back Sunday to become Straylight Run, but TBS just got replacements, and didn't cry in a corner when members decided to quit. Here are some examples of when solo break-offs go well: Björk's break from the Sugarcubes, Tori Amos' break from Y Kant Tori Read, Justin Timberlake from N'Sync (although I don't think that was by choice, the boy band thing just went kerplop one day) and George Michael from Wham! (we all love that song "Faith," don't deny it). In the "What was the point of doing your own thing because you are just going to sound the same?" category belong namesakes such as Jack White, now in the Raconteurs, Thom Yorke from Radiohead and Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park, who was the worst part of Linkin Park, and just extended his role into a horrible full-length CD. This is why mainstream pop sucks. It turns singers into egomaniacs and destroys reputations and airwaves with slutty behavior and bad music. Viva la non-mainstreamo. Less drama, better music. |
| c o n t a c t s / c r e d i t s c o n t r i b u t e |